Last Friday night, after divvying up the perfect cupcake in my brain that afternoon, I received the exact cupcake I had been dreaming about only a few short hours earlier.

Okay – maybe this doesn’t seem like a big deal. But let me explain why it is, and why it’s important for you to notice, celebrate, and give gratitude for these small, seemingly insignificant moments in your life too, and how this will open the door to bigger and greater things all for your good!

Manifestation seems to be one of those buzzwords these days and EVERYONE seems to be doing it. To me, a lot of it just seems so empty and fake, mostly because a lot of these “spiritual influencers” don’t come from a place of integrity.
(I learned the hard way).

At the end of 2020 I discovered *manifestation* per se, but what I didn’t realize at the time is that I had been manifesting unintentionally in my life all long – good and bad, and so have you.

What I didn’t realize is that I could be super intentional with it, learn how to align my energy and my intuition, and put it into overdrive.

“Alexa, play Ariana Grande – Just Like Magic”

Little did I know that diving into this world would also mean that I had to look at every fear I had, every negative thought and belief I held over myself, and every dark wounded space that existed inside of me. That it would take years of coming home to meet myself over and over again to actually untangle the mess of past trauma, emotions, and untruths that I held about myself and still manage to hold the faith that my life is working and that I’m okay before I saw even the tiniest breadcrumbs of my energetic work.

I was never that girl who heeded the warning before learning a painful, yet valuable life lesson. Nope, I’m that girl that had to fall into that shit neck-deep and then get myself out of it. And sometimes, I even did that shit twice. I had all of this crap that I built up over the years through my own experiences, faults, pain, embarrassments, and moments of self-disrespect that I needed to work through and make peace with, and sometimes, I think that I have more of that stuff than maybe other people do. Or maybe my crap is just different – it’s mine.

Here’s the thing about your spiritual journey – Yours will look wildly different from anyone else’s.

Mine was so rough that I’ve “quit” twice – even after I experienced two miracles that would prove to me that YES it is possible for me, including after experiencing the lifechanging moment when I manifested the man and relationship of my dreams.

Yes, in spite of enduring years of narcissistic emotional abuse in two separate relationships, I manifested, real, true love.

The Friday night espresso martinis and dessert kind of fairytale love.

My history with dating is a nightmare so you would think that after experiencing the miracle that is Matthew that I would be a full-blown believer. But the introduction to this incredibly aligned and powerful relationship with this man only uncovered a whole new set of beliefs and fears that I needed to face and work through, and revisit and heal wounds that I still have.

I was forced to go back inside myself again, but instead of leaning on the practices that I had been doing all along, I rejected them out of frustration and I took a step away instead.

So let’s talk about this cupcake.

I generally struggle with recognizing and holding my own value and worth. Just like I did in my romantic life, I think I struggle with this more in my life’s work as a nutritionist and coach. This is the c*ck block of all blocks and one I highly recommend doing the work around as it will be the most impactful on your experience.

My worthiness in and around my brand and my business has always wavered. A common false belief that I held over myself with my own career and success was believing that I am always taking steps but in the wrong direction, my efforts always feel labored and resistant, and that I will be that person who just doesn’t quite make it.

This was the “truth” I began to believe for myself for most of 2022.

Here’s the thing. When you feel really uncomfortable and unhappy about something in life, we can get really important feedback from that.

Here’s a real life example –

Many of us have been or are in job situations that we strongly dislike working in.

Remember how you felt or how you feel when you admitted that you hated the job and wished you could quit. The job itself and the act of putting effort to go and perform at that job feels revolting inside of you and you completely reject it. Maybe there’s the realization that you simply cannot just quit at that moment. That will hit you in the face like a sack of bricks.

We can choose to respond in two ways –

Continue to respond negatively to our situation, OR recognize that

1. This situation in our life is NOT what we want, allowing us to become clearer on what it is we DO want

and

2. That a better alternative exists for us beyond the present moment.

It’s quite literally just an alteration of your thoughts when this type of situation occurs.

These are foundational truths of mine that for whatever reason last year, I forgot.

What that belief of myself was really showing me is that I was ready to take the next step in my career and to begin leading myself as if I am already the wildly successful entrepreneur who specializes in women’s nutrition, spirituality, and manifestation of wellness. I want to feel like I am hitting the damn nail square on the head, driving that b*tch right on in.

My wallowing, pity party, and spiritual temper tantrum wasn’t working. Would it have worked if I chose to do this energetically towards my relationship? Of course not. So why would it work now?

It was at this moment of realization that I had to return to my deep inner work and practice rewiring my mindset and shifting my energy around my brand and my business because it has to work. There is no other reality that exists where it doesn’t.

“I am already renowned for what I do. I already have the engagement. I already have the success. I have it all.”

We are only a couple of weeks into 2023 and my main priorities have me working in silence, spending much of my time meditating, journaling on things I need to work through, reframing my mindset, and listening to podcasts and content from my favorite role model Amanda Frances. My work has been getting into the feeling and energy that I need to be in to run a wildly successful online brand in 2023 so that I can create from this space. Not the disempowered, I’m barely just making it, low vibe energetic space.

Okay, seriously, what does any of this have to do with a cupcake?

Last week I didn’t get the greatest sleep. If I don’t get the rest I need I really struggle, so I took this as a sign from the universe that I needed to rest. At first I was like are you freaking for real right now? I’m trying to be productive so that I can really re-launch my brand and get the ball rolling here. But I can barely sit in my computer chair let alone record content.

One thing that I teach my clients is to always pay attention to and receive the information and feedback that our bodies are giving us. Especially in today’s society, overriding ourselves has become a favorite pastime in the name of productivity. We fight our own internal cues to eat and sleep as if our bodies don’t have the highest divine intelligence and we know better.

When we try to fight our bodies, it creates resistance and stress that feels icky and drives us to burn out. So I took my own advice, decided not to try to paddle upstream and fight my fatigue, took a half day on Friday and got my bar shift covered that night. I rested in bed watching 2 Broke Girls (one of my FAVORITES) until Matt came home from work that evening.

If you don’t know the show, it’s about two girls who become unlikely best friends, waitress at a shabby diner in Brooklyn, and try to start their own successful cupcake business called Max’s Homemade Cupcakes (are you seeing the parallel similarities yet lol).

In the episodes I was watching, they made shirts that had a big cupcake on the front and “cream filled” written on the back. It really got me thinking about how much I love Bavarian cream and how I would die for a Bavarian cream cupcake at that moment. I imagined the color of the cake and the frosting, how completely mouthwatering it looked and how delicious it would taste.

Here’s the thing. I’ll be honest, I didn’t think a Bavarian cream filled cupcake existed in my general accessible area. I did know that the grocery store in the next town over had a pretty solid bakery and that they often had pretty cupcakes in their pastry case. There was no way I was dragging myself out of the house to go to Hannaford personally to get this, so I asked Matt if he could stop on his way home.

I fully did not expect that a cream filled anything cupcake existed at Hannaford.

Matt called me to let me know what they had. A few cupcake descriptions in and there it was – a vanilla Bavarian cream filled cupcake with chocolate ganache.
Are you freaking kidding me. That’s the one!

Shortly after, that cupcake was in my hand.

Now for those of you who are linear thinkers and are just like, yeeeaaaaah okay you asked your boyfriend to get you a cupcake and you got one. It’s only a coincidence. I could easily think that and downplay my experience as well.

But why would I do that? Why wouldn’t I look at this experience with faith that it’s all working out as it should and that it’s all happening in my favor? That if I am capable to manifesting a cupcake into my existence that maybe it’s possible that I can also bring other desired outcomes in as well? That this is a sign that I am on the right track and as scary as everything feels right now because of the moves that I am making (or not making) that I always have angels at my back and that God has not in fact forgotten about me at all, just waiting for me to recognize my own power, worth, and value as a human being?

That there is no moment too big or too small, and that we should celebrate and give gratitude for those moments with complete contentment that we are always okay and deciding that no matter what we will always be taken care of.

That this is not *just* a breadcrumb moment. This is a “holy f*ck it’s all happening” moment.

It’s like finding a little pocket in the spatial fabric around us and entering into a parallel reality where every step is guided if you choose to believe.

On Friday night I manifested a cupcake it changed my life forever.